A Journey to Jesus (Part Two)

Read part one here: http://eph1-17.blogspot.ca/2013/05/a-journey-to-jesus-part-one.html

I became an atheist in 2008, and I was content with my godless life. 

In 2012 that changed unexpectedly. In April, when we were packing to move to a new house I found an old Bible that my now-wife had given me as a gift the year we started dating. I opened it and flipped through the pages a bit. As a history and religious studies major in university I still found religion interesting even if I didn’t believe any of it. So it was maybe a bit of scholarly curiosity, maybe a bit of nostalgia that kept me reading the book. At a few points while packing I decided to take a break to read a chapter or two, and it eventually turned into a habit. As the summer progressed I continued to devour the words of Jesus in the New Testament. At some points the words pierced me deeply – early on I encountered John 8:58, in which Jesus said “Before Abraham was, I AM!” I knew it to be a thinly veiled claim to divinity – he was claiming to be the God of the Old Testament (see Exodus 3:14; John 8:58). I considered for the first time in years the possibility that Jesus was telling the truth. I had a conversation with my wife about these things, and we decided to go to church once or twice to explore that option again.

That decision resulted in a series of events that led to my conversion. I believe that God responds when we open our hearts to him in sincere prayer. I slowly allowed myself to set aside old prejudices toward born again Christians, toward the Bible, and toward God… Rather than rallying my faculties to attack Christianity upon reading a questionable passage of scripture, I yielded to the possibility that my conclusions were premature. More often than not, I realized that such criticisms of the Bible were based on a very shallow reading of the text which often ignored the intended purpose and meaning (I hope to address this in a future blog post entitled “Atheists can trust the Bible”). It required some newfound humility on my part, but God led the way in breaking down every wall that kept him out.

There were a few instances where a particular “wall” (problem I had with Christianity) that I had prayed about was addressed in the very next church service I attended or the very next chapter of the Bible I read. My years as an atheist trained my mind to recognize such instances as coincidences – and I certainly still believe that skepticism can be very healthy! But it can also lead to blindness, or a willing disregard for truth. Just as Jesus healed literal blind men in the first century, he dealt with my spiritual “blindness” with patience and continued to provide me with the evidence I required to believe. He is faithful, even when I was not.

Finally, toward the end of June I had a series of three dreams which I believe to be revelations from God. First I dreamed that there was something spiritually unclean in my life that I should have put away a long time ago (the concept was presented to me in visual metaphors, but the meaning was clear). Second, I dreamed that I was preaching Christianity. The third dream was more complicated, but I was quoting biblical passages, rebuking false doctrine, and telling a man of the need to be born again; in the morning I looked up the biblical passages that my character in the dream had quoted and it clarified the meaning of a particular part of the dream. I was convinced more than ever before that God had answered my prayers for guidance! The thought still stirs up such gratitude that I can hardly express it in words! All I can say is Praise God! Glory to God! The very next chapter I read in the Bible was the first chapter of Ephesians, which contained the following passage…

“That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints.” (Ephesians 1:17-18)

A revelation of the knowledge of God… The hope of his calling… That is exactly what I believe God had just given me.

The next day was July 1, 2012. I was in Calgary for a conference and was to head home by bus that morning. As I was waiting to board the C-Train I found myself overwhelmed by the idea that despite my faithlessness (and every other flaw), God was still interested in walking patiently with me, answering my prayers for guidance, and pointing me in the right direction. He even had a calling for me – to share his gospel. Amazing grace! The idea brought tears to my eyes as I stood waiting for that train; so you can imagine that I was tipped over the edge when I finally boarded the C-Train and found a piece of paper beside the very seat that I sat upon: a tract from a group called Every Home for Christ, a group that preaches Christianity. I knew for certain at that point that God was trying to get a message across to me, underlining it again and again! Dreams, biblical passages, tracts – rapid-fire sequence. The message was clear as day, and I could not ignore it.

The next feeling I had was that of conviction. God had a calling for me, but it was not because of my own worthiness or piety. I had a wicked heart; among other flaws, over the past several years I had expressed utter resentment and hatred toward God, toward Christianity, and toward born again Christians and others in my life. I needed forgiveness. At that very moment I asked God to forgive me, to give me new life, and to make me a new creature. My feeling of conviction was followed by enormous relief and joy. I had given my life to Jesus, and I was born again.

Since that day I have sought to follow the path that God set out for me in his word and in his revelations to me. I experienced for the first time what “Amazing Grace” means, and it drives me to share what I believe is the true gospel (the “good news”) with others. Jesus is the son of God, and he came to build a bridge between us and God, restoring that relationship that was lost through human rebellion.

May God give you a revelation of the knowledge of him, and the hope of his calling for YOU! Thanks for reading! The next blog post will address one of the most frequent comments that I get… “All paths lead to God; Jesus is not the only way, is he?”